Happy Monday, pitches.
No one wants to get left on read — not teens professing their feelings for each other via text message and certainly not the publicist who just poured their everything into a perfectly-written pitch. But what if I told you the witty, pun-laden pitches you spend hours crafting aren’t even getting read?
That’s your first problem. Your pitches could be the most well-written thing since Shakespeare, but if they aren’t even getting read, you can’t worry about getting replies (let alone placement) quite yet.
Let me preface this by saying that as a writer, it literally pains me to admit that a well-written pitch isn’t good enough. Quality writing should be all that matters. It should be enough. Any journalist who’s ever written a book and tried to get a literary agent knows the plight all too well.
But since I’m on the other side of the coin here, I have to admit it’s true, even if it goes against everything I believe about writing. Well-written isn’t always good enough. (My masters degree in creative writing is literally rolling in its grave rn.)
OK, so let’s quit burying the lead. What causes pitches to not get read? What are you doing wrong and what can you do better?
3 Reasons Your Pitches Aren’t Getting Read
Length
I’m talking block paragraph on block paragraph. You know what I’m going to respond to 10 out of 10 times? The succint pitch that does a good job of explaining the thing, how the thing is relevant to me, and why I need to cover the thing. Bam — done deal!
Again, it’s brutal for me to admit but all the gorgeous prose in the world is not going to result in a reply if I open the email and it looks like a page out of a Harry Potter book. Cue the internal screams.
Our attention spans are short and they’re only getting shorter. In fact, there’s a reason this newsletter is written how it is. Look at these short, digestible lines!
Do you see a paragraph over five sentences in here? No, and I’ll tell you why: It’s daunting as hell.
And remember: the writers you’re pitching don’t have a ton of time to devote to emails. Emails don’t get them paid — especially if they’re freelance. What gets them paid is writing, content creation, making.
So, your email has to be worth the time it takes to read it and respond to it. It has to have some kind of return. For me, that’s most often the short, to-the-point pitch that gets to the nitty-gritty of it all in 10 seconds flat.
Don’t get me wrong, it can be cute. Witty. Well-written. But it must be concise.
No images
I love a PR pitch with a perspective. One of my favorite ones in recent memory was in promotion for a new collaboration with Bridgerton Season 2 and it was entirely written from the voice of Lady Whistledown. ‘Twas genius.
But those “viral” PR moments (if you will) are few and far in between.
What matters more is a high-res image. I love that you want to explain your product or service to me. That matters. Keep doing it.
But if I can’t visualize the thing — and most times, even with the name or title of the product, I can’t — then it’s easier to pass and trash the email.
A big, bold, centered photo of the item being pitched goes a long way.
Attachments or external links
“What? But attachments and external links are so helpful! All my PR friends do it!” I know, I know — if you’ve gotten this far you are probably starting to hate me. Now I have the audacity to tell you no PDF lookbook attachments or external links to products???
What do I just want to suck the fun out of everything?! Stomp on your PR dreams?!
I really don’t — promise. But there’s no point in writing a newsletter like this if I’m not going to be honest.
Nine times out of 10, I don’t look at your lookbook. I don’t even click it. Why? Because by attaching it, you’re telling me you couldn’t succintly get all the work done you needed to get done in an email of just a few sentences.
A lot of the time, an attachment can feel like a catch-all. Like, “well, if I didn’t do a good enough job explaining, then I’ve got this PDF to back me up!”
On the one hand, that feels kinda lazy. On the other hand, you’re making me, the writer, do more work than I want to or have time for.
I should be able to know what you’re pitching, why it matters, and why or how I should cover it just by skimming.
Please don’t make me open anything additional. I already opened your email and if that sounds like sheesh, that’s the bare minimum, I know it is. But I also get 1,000 emails a day. So — you do the math.
A quick clarification on external links
I know I just took a giant shit on both PDF attachments and external links but there’s a caveat to the external links bit.
External links are A-OK if they look like this:
What’s good about this example? The images are clearly aligned with the links, the price, and the description. As an affiliate writer, I love this. I now know what the product is (thanks to the image!), the link means I don’t have to go searching for it myself, and the price/description also makes my job easier.
What I’m not saying: If you want to use external links, it has to be in a graph/table. Big nope. I’m saying: As clearly as possible, show me the product, give me the link and the price, and provide me a basic description. A one-stop shop of info.
External links don’t work when they look like this:
Why not? Too much text, no pics, and now I have to do the extra work of clicking every link to understand what each item is in order to ascertain if it’s a fit for anything I’m working on.
In conclusion…
Make pitches as convenient for the writer as possible. Give them everything — high-res images, links, descriptons, relevant affiliate information, etc. — all in one spot.
Keep it short; keep it sweet. That’s good writing.
Always use images to your advantage. What’s cuter than a block paragraph? A photo.
Don’t make us click or open anything extra to get basic information.
You will get more replies. You will get more placements.
You will probably write me an email thanking me for such hot tips.
No, I’m kidding, but I promise you, this is the secret sauce to getting your shit read.
Follow me:
Instagram: @stephosmanski
LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/StephanieOsmanski